I feel what I did really depended on how I felt in that moment. If the guy made me comfortable or uneasy. If I felt no one else would be coming by or ...f I felt like any second we'd hear another vehicle. I might show up intending to be crazy and get there and get a bad feeling and drive away. Other times I might simply be bored, able to get away and swing by with no thoughts or plans. It was very much an in the moment thing.I think the uncertainty was also a part of it. You never really knew. Damn it! What the hell's the matter with me? he wondered. Mary's got me thinking of my own daughter as a sex object, and I said I wouldn't do that anymore. He gave Alyson a slight nudge. "I think it's safe for you to get up now."The sudden look of hurt in her narrow eyes surprised him. "Yes, sir," she said as she rose. The formal response was another surprise. She shuffled head down the few feet to the edge of the stream and stood there in the rain with her back to him, her shoulders. To lie together and get better acquainted. Looking into her dark eyes as we snuggled beneath heavy blankets, I asked, "What do you want to know about me?"She mulled it over and finally responded with "Tell me about your last girlfriend. Like how long it lasted, why you broke up... you know, the good stuff!"Oh Hell, she came out swinging, and I wondered why I ever imagined this was a good idea. I was hoping for something like "Favorite Hostess snack cake?" "But honesty is the best policy,". I took a moment to calm myself down, reaching behind the seat into therear of the car and pulling out another couple items - my boots, coatand purse which had been wrapped in the coat to keep the contents fromfreezing. I put my key into the ignition and started my car, put itinto gear and pulled out of the parking lot slowly, carefully notwanting to have any accident or problem before I got to the park.On to the street I pulled and away I went down the highway to theparking area of the park I.
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