That really would make grown. But as I was giving the blowjob, In the back of my head I was thinking, “Well I guess I’m a faggot now. If I wasn’... a homosexual before I am now… It’s just like they used to call me in school… A faggot. A cock sucker.”I still remember when he grunted and jerked and I could feel the cum squirting in my mouth and could taste it. The thick slimy wad of sperm all over my tongue and the taste of it. I kept sucking on his pecker because I wasn’t sure when to stop so I. My girlfriend was sitting across my lap; it was late and we were both tired, but feeling very horny. I discreetly had my hand up her skirt and had been fingering her for some time, to her quite obvious pleasure (and mine too!) first with my fingers stroking and feeling her through the thin material of her panties, and then I pulled the gusset to one side and sneaked my forefinger inside, so I could feel the warm soft female folds of flesh. She was juicing like mad and I gently finger fucked her. But those days were over. It had been a year. A year and two months, in fact. What was it she’d said? Something about not feeling safe, secure, something about me being the bad guy, about magnets attracting and repelling. God. An eloquent excuse for ending six months of madness. Eloquent. The word didn’t really suit her. It was too fancy, reserved, like some Downton Abbey woman. Maddie wasn’t like that. Sure, she spoke well, she wrote well, she knew how to win every goddamn argument we’d ever. I put on my make up quickly. It was cheap dime store stuff and glassesthat made me look owlish and shy. I picked up my suitcase, filled withmore of the same and some dog-earred potboiler romances.As we rode into town, Dr. Troy gave me my last instructions."Now, Ida Mae," she started. I was Ida Mae Muckenburg, of Minot, NorthDakota. There was all sorts of identification in my purse. There waseven a 4-H membership. "When you get off the bus, wander around theterminal a little. Look lost. Let them.
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