An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all...intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.A question mark walks into a bar?A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.Papyrus and Comic. "Who keeps calling?"Sam looked at me. "Yeah, Les. Who keeps calling?" She was having too much fun with this.I told Mom about my call to Sandy and how she tricked me into telling her about Mom and Jeff."I see. And just how did she know enough to trick you into talking about us?" Well, I wanted to get back to cheering and she asked if I was OK and I told her I'd get my doctor to check me out. And she made this smart ass comment about wanting to check out my doctor and I couldn't let her get away. I was a littleembarrassed that he was posting those photos for anyone to see. I waseven more embarrassed to see that he had posted some photos of mecompletely nude. At least he had used Photoshop to blur out the part ofthe frontal photos showing my crotch - even though there's not a lot toblur out.But what really blew me away was when he called up the statistics on hitsto the site and showed me how they had dramatically increased in the lastthree or four months when he had posted the photos. This young woman excites me so. Hope my need for herdoesn't scare her off. Seems like it's taking forever for her to get here.But I have waited this long, guess I can wait a little longer. Is that herin the driveway now? Ooohhh, it is! Got to pull myself together, look likeI'm cool. Wonder if she is half as nervous as I am? She's at the door, gotto go open it. God, she's so pretty and young and she turns me on so much,be cool, be cool... Good, she's smiling standing there in the doorway. Hope.
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Feeling like I’ve needed that for years. And yes, kind of feeling like I need to know where we are now, too; because that wasn’t ‘a fuck.’ We
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